Mindful Living

LESSONS FOR MY FELLOW TRAVELERS

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”
— Marcel Proust

I recently returned home from a wonderful trip, and I have been reflecting on what it is that I love so much about traveling—and how I might bring some of that joy, wonder, and aliveness that I experience when traveling into everyday life.

The truth is, we are all travelers. We are all moving through life and around this beautiful planet each day. Here are some lessons from my travels and thoughts on how to make each day an adventure.

Lessons From a Fellow Traveler

When I travel, I feel the anticipation and excitement of something new. What will I see today? What will I learn? What unexpected adventure awaits? There is something so enlivening about stepping into the unknown, seeing things for the first time, and allowing myself to be surprised by what the day will bring.

And yet, I realize that I do not have to be on vacation to live this way. Each day offers something new to notice, learn, and experience. I just have to adopt that mindset each day rather than move about my day as if nothing is new.

When I travel, I pay close attention. I notice the landscape, the architecture, the food, the culture, the rhythm of a place. I become more open, more curious, more interested in what is right in front of me. Travel reminds me that I can bring this same quality of presence into my life at home by slowing down and meeting ordinary life with a childlike sense of curiosity and interest.

When I travel, I also love the quality time I spend with the people I am lucky enough to be with. Travel pulls us out of our routines. We step away from our schedules and our distractions. We put down our phones. We walk together, eat together, wonder together. We have time for deeper conversations and more genuine connection.

But this, too, is a choice available to us every day. We can choose to slow down. We can choose to be fully present with the people we love. We can choose to put down our phones. We can choose to make time for deep connection.

Another gift of travel is that it pulls us out of the familiar loops of daily life—our routines, our “to-do” lists, our worries, our habitual ways of thinking. It offers a different perspective. It reminds us that there is a much bigger world beyond the small circle of our concerns.

While this may come more easily when we are away, it is still possible at home. We can step out of the repetitive loops of the mind, our routines, and habits, and into a larger experience of life. We can make small changes like trying a new route, tasting something unfamiliar, meeting someone new, or simply allowing ourselves to be where we are more fully instead of rushing to the next thing.

Travel also makes me especially aware that time is finite. When I am away, I know exactly how many days I have left in my trip, and so I am more intentional. I savor things more. I slow down to enjoy them. I take better care of myself. I fill my days with things that matter to me. I know how precious time is.

Of course, this is also true of life itself. We do not always live with that awareness, but remembering the finitude of our time here can help us live more fully and more intentionally. It can remind us to take good care of ourselves, to spend time with the people we love, and to orient our lives around what matters most.

When I travel, I also love to observe people—walking, commuting, eating, laughing, singing, celebrating, and simply living. It reminds me of our shared humanity. It reminds me to live joyfullytoo each day, just as I do on vacation.

And finally, when I travel, I feel deeply connected to the planet itself. To stand before the ocean, the mountains, a wide-open sky, or a landscape utterly unlike my own is to remember how astonishing this Earth is. Travel reminds me that this planet is not just the backdrop of my life. It is living, vast, mysterious, and sacred. I am a small part of it. And this evokes awe, connection, and ease.

The beautiful thing is that this connection is available at home, too. We can watch the flowers blooming outside our window, notice the leaves returning to the trees, gaze up at the sky, and remember that we are part of something extraordinary.

Traveling Through Life Each Day

And now I am home—back to routines, responsibilities, and the familiar ways of moving through my days. It is easy to forget these lessons. Easy to get pulled back into plans, worries, stress, roles, and the self-created identities. This is where mindfulness comes in.

Yesterday, I was in NYC and I decided to bring this traveler mindset to my day. Instead of hurrying around the city to my next appointment, I became a tourist, like so many tourists currently in New York. I wanted to see the city like them – just as I did when I was traveling. I practiced “beginners mind” as I walked down 5th Avenue among a crowd of visitors. Instead of looking down, moving quickly and being annoyed by the slow walkers craning their necks to take it all in, I looked up and around, I slowed down, and I appreciated where I was and what I was seeing – the cherry blossoms, incredible architecture, and interesting people all around me. It was beautiful. I was in awe of this city. I could see it with fresh eyes and a new appreciation for being there.

In this way, mindfulness helps us slow down and brings us out of the trance of self-preoccupation and back into direct relationship with life. Into the body. Into the breath. Into the sounds around us. Into the presence of other people. Into the beauty of the earth. Into the moment, which is always so much bigger than our thoughts about it.

Mindfulness helps us notice what is already true: that we are connected, that we belong, that we are participants in something much larger than ourselves, that life is full and beautiful!

This may be one of the reasons travel can feel so nourishing—even transformative. At its best, travel interrupts our habits of mind. It invites wonder. It expands perspective. It humbles us. It wakes us up. It reminds us that there is so much more here than the small world we so often live inside.

It reminds us that we are not separate. We are part of an ancient and ongoing human story. We are part of this beautiful, living planet. We belong to something vast and shared. And when we remember that our hearts soften. We become more curious, more humble, more grateful, more compassionate. We wake up to the miracle of being here.

For me, this is one of the deepest gifts of both travel and mindfulness practice. I remember that I am always a traveler. A visitor. A student of life. A small but meaningful part of a much larger whole. And when I remember that I can meet each day with more wonder, more awe, more presence, and more ease as I make my way through this journey of life.

I wish you all a safe, exciting, joyful, and meaningful journey today, and every day!

On we go!

Cheryl


Making Friends With Your Mind

“You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.”
– Joseph Goldstein

The most common complaint I hear people say about why they can’t meditate is, “My mind is too busy. I can’t quiet it.” However, anyone who spends a few moments watching their mind will likely notice something quickly: it’s busy. Planning. Replaying. Judging. Worrying. Remembering. There is a constant stream of thoughts—sometimes helpful, often repetitive, and frequently stressful, or even overwhelming. This is not wrong – it’s normal. In fact, people with busy minds are some of the best candidates for meditation! One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is to make friends with our own minds.People mistakenly think that mindfulness stops us from thinking or that when we meditate, the mind is quiet. But the truth is, we are not stopping the mind from thinking; we are learning to befriend the mind and create a different relationship with all those thoughts. We are learning to see our thoughts, without getting caught up in them.

The Mind Is Not the Enemy

In mindfulness practice, we begin with a simple but powerful shift: the mind is not something to fight against. Your thoughts are not a personal failure. Your busy mind is not a flaw. Thinking is simply what the mind does.

From an evolutionary perspective, the mind is designed to scan for danger, anticipate the future, and make meaning of the past. It’s trying—often tirelessly—to protect you.

But the same mind that helps us survive can also create unnecessary suffering when we get caught in loops of worry, self-criticism, or rumination – or when the mind returns us to the past or hurls us into the future.  When we treat the mind as an enemy, we add another layer of struggle.

A Different Approach: Turning Toward the Mind

Making friends with the mind begins with a shift in your relationship with your mind. Meditation teacher Sylvia Boorstein, author of It’s Easier Than You Think, describes herself as a “fretter.”  When the phone rings late at night, her first thought is, “Oh no!  Something has gone terribly wrong!” She says this is what her mind does – it worries. She knows this about her mind. So, when her mind reacts; she recognizes this pattern, takes a deep breath, and answers the phone to see what is actually happening. This is how she has made friends with her mind and does not allow it to take over.

Instead of: “Why won’t my mind stop?”  “I shouldn’t be thinking this.” Or, “Something is wrong with me.”  We begin to ask: “Can I meet this thought with curiosity instead of judgment?” “Do I have to believe this?”  Or, “What happens if I allow this thought to simply come and go without believing its contents?”

We learn that we don’t have to believe every thought. Instead, we can see thoughts clearly—without getting swept away or overwhelmed by them. This takes practice but can be life changing because without this skill, we let our minds take over our nervous system and we live with constant fear, worry, and anxiety which deeply impacts our wellbeing, health and happiness.

The Practice of Befriending the Mind

1. Notice and Label Thoughts

When a thought arises, simply name it: planning, worrying, remembering. This creates space between you and the thought, without having to wrestle with it or dive into it.

 

2. Be Kind To Your Mind
Instead of tightening or resisting thoughts, try offering a quiet acknowledgment and relaxing around it: “Ah, my mind is busy right now. That’s interesting.”  And then let those thoughts come and go, like clouds in the sky, simply floating by.

 

3. Get Curious
When thoughts arise, take a look at them with curiosity.  Ask, “Is this thought helpful? Is it true? Is it necessary in this moment? Is it kind? Is this thought contributing to my suffering or my peace?  How would I feel if I didn’t believe it?”

Not to judge—but to understand that often thoughts are not helpful, not true, and we don’t have to believe them.

 

4. Return to the Body
The body is always in the present moment. Use it as a wonderful anchor to pull your attention and energy away from unhelpful thoughts. Feel your breath. Notice the sensations of your feet on the ground. Listen to the sounds around you. Look at your surroundings to orient into the present moment. This gently anchors you when your mind drifts and tries to pull you away from the present moment and away from what is happening right now.

 

5. Offer Compassion
If your mind is loud, anxious, or self-critical, try meeting it the way you would a dear friend – with patience, kindness, and care.  It is trying to help, but not always doing that skillfully.

6. You Are Not Your Thoughts!
One of the most liberating insights in mindfulness is this: You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness that can observe thoughts. When you begin to see thoughts as passing mental events—rather than truths or commands—they lose their grip over you. And in that space, you find calm, clarity, and choice.

The next time your mind feels busy or overwhelming, pause and remember that nothing has gone wrong. This is simply the mind doing what it does. And in that moment, you have an opportunity—not to fight it, but to meet it differently. When you stop fighting the mind, you create the conditions for it to settle. You find more peace, ease and choice in how you want to meet this moment!


by Cheryl Brause



Mindful Tools for Everyday Life- Week Four Handout

Week Four:  Finding Real Happiness – An Exploration of What Really Makes Us Happy and How to Get More of It. Positive Psychology is the scientific study of optimal human functioning.  Historically, the field of psychology looks at treating mental illness or dysfunction.  Positive psychology, however, looks to understand the positive, adaptive, creative and emotionally fulfilling aspects of human behavior.

Flow, as defined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is the state of optimal attention and immersion during an activity.  Finding one's flow leads to greater happiness and sense of wellbeing.

How do you know if you are in your flow?

  1. You lose awareness of time (“lose yourself in something”)
  2. You aren’t thinking about yourself (self-consciousness disappears)
  3. You aren’t interrupted by extraneous thoughts
  4. You have clear goals but aren’t focused on the finish line, the activity itself is the reward
  5. You are active, not passive (not watching TV)
  6. You work effortlessly, the activity is not easy but everything is clicking and seems effortless
  7. Balance between challenge and skill
  8. No worry of failure
  9. You want to repeat the experience

Happiness must combine both pleasure and meaning, providing both present and future gain.

The Hamburger Analogy (Tal Ben-Shahar)

(1) Bacon Double Cheeseburger - Hedonistic Pleasure -  unhealthy but tasty hamburger, will bring immediate short-term pleasure but have the opposite effect on our long-term feeling of wellbeing.

(2) Tasteless Veggie Burger (the ones that taste like cardboard) - Doing everything for the long term goal, but with no short term enjoyment - might bring us negative emotions while we’re eating it but brings us long-term benefits.

(3) Eating a Healthy by Tasty Burger - finding out what things in life can bring both immediate and long-term happiness; that is, a meal that is both tasty and healthy.

Finding our Happiness:

(1) We must deal with the Past-  exercise gratitude and forgiveness. Once we must become aware of what at we are feeling, we can better understand what is causing us anger, resentment, etc.  By becoming aware of it, we can lessen its grip on it, accept it as it is and learn to let it go. We cannot let it go until we become aware of it and accept it.

(2) Happiness in the Present – breaking habituation, savoring experiences and using mindfulness as ways to increase happiness in the present

(3) Finding Meaning and Purpose -  While the pleasant life might bring more positive emotions to one’s life, to foster a deeper more enduring happiness, we need to explore the realm of meaning. Without the application of one’s unique strengths and the development of one’s virtues towards an end bigger than one’s self, one’s potential tends to be whittled away by a mundane, inauthentic, empty pursuit of pleasure. (Martin Seligman)

More reading: NYTimes articles

- Advice from Life’s Graying Edges on Finishing with NO Regrets

- The Joy of Quiet

Mindfulness Tools for Finding Happiness

(1) Be Present – Practice Being, rather than Doing.  How? Connect the mind to the body with Mindfulness exercises.

- example of how we habitually "do" and remain disconnected to our present moment experience . . .

- text or talk on cell phones while we walk

But we can change that behavior by fully immersing ourselves in our present experience, being fully present with the sensations and the experience itself

- Washing dishes example

“Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.” – Eckhart Tolle

-       Return to our birthright of happiness, as young children do, we can find great pleasure and joy in each moment

-       Focus our attention away from thinking and direct it into the body, where being can be felt.

 

(2) Still your Mind - Suffering Comes from our Thoughts - Do Not Identify with your Story, it is not You

- Still your mind by connecting to the experience itself, not your thoughts

- Recognize your story, what story am I telling myself about my situation, experience, etc.?

- Cease creating a story

 

(3) Gratitude Practice

- Focus on the Beauty that Surrounds You

- Think about what you did right each day

- Recognize all that you have to be grateful for

 

(4) Lovingkindness Practice - Look at yourself and others with kindness and compassion instead of reflexive criticism.

Metta Mediation Practice: (said to yourself, to others you love, to a neutral or difficult person and to all beings).

May I (You) be safe.  

May I (You) be happy.  

May I (You) be healthy.    

May I (You) live my (your) life with ease.   

 

These take practice, but if we consciously integrate these tools into our lives, they can have profound effects on our happiness and sense of wellbeing.

 

 

Mindful Living: An Introduction to Mindfulness and Meditation

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Mindful Living: An Introduction to Mindfulness and Meditation

In this course, we will explore meditation and mindfulness practices that can be used everyday to help reduce stress, increase a sense of calm, clarity, and connection, and create greater contentment in our lives.  Each class will consist of a discussion of mindfulness tools and the developing research on the neuroscience of mindfulness, as well as group mindfulness practices.

“Mindfulness practice means that we commit fully in each moment to be present; inviting ourselves to interface with this moment in full awareness, with the intention to embody as best we can an orientation of calmness, mindfulness, and equanimity right here and right now.”

― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life

Benefits of Mindfulness and Meditation include:

  • Increased attention, focus and concentration
  • Decreased levels of stress
  • Increased sense of calm, balance and equanimity
  • Improved mood
  • Greater ability to regulate emotions
  • Improved sleep patterns and overall sense of  wellbeing

Class Dates & Times:  Four week session begins February 26th.  Classes will  meet from 8 pm to 9:30 pm on Wednesdays, February 26, March 5, 12 and 19. Snow date will be March 26th.

Location:  Groove, 108 Chatsworth Avenue, Larchmont, New York.

To Register click here.